Cold
by nekobotan
Summary: Heero contemplates how cold he is toward Duo, when really all he wants is to be warm...  1x2 Shounen ai. A somewhat sappy, OOC piece. One of my first fanfictions, ever, so be forewarned. :


**Cold**  
_How Original  
A shounen ai GW songfic  
By: Tan_

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**Warnings**: Shounen ai (saaap; sap!).

**Summary**: Heero's point of view-- just something sappy, and I think Heero's a biiiit over poetic. OOC, yes. My 1st songfic (I hope it doesn't turn out to be my best), and one of my first fics.

The song is Cold by Annie Lennox (a recommended listen).  
italics denotes the song.

**Updated**: 5/13/02 [so it's pretty frikkin' old... but, someone requested I post it here, so I did v

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_ Come to me, run to me, do and be done with me _

I'm drowning.

_ Cold, Cold, Cold... _

_ Don't I exist for you, don't I still live for you? _

Duo...

_ Cold, Cold, Cold... _

I've tried for a long time... to just speak to him. Give him a sign that I'm here I'm listening, I won't ever go away. How can I be so cold?

I can see him up ahead, trudging along on the ice, feet soft and assured. Even I was having a hard time keeping my balance, but he walked on air... Beautiful. I wanted to tell him that. Maybe he'd believe it, coming from me. But he's too far ahead.

_ Everything, I possess, given with tenderness, wrapped, in a ribbon of glass...  
Time it may take us but God only knows how I've paid for those things in the past... _

Our last mission had been a success-- I wouldn't have it any other way. But our escape had been foiled, and we'd fled by foot, all the way across the frozen tundra of Canada, to where our Gundams were waiting, frozen in white lace.

_ Dying is easy it's living that scares me today, ooo, yeah...  
I could be so content, hearing the sound of your, breath, ooo, yeah... _

An hour ago we'd chanced upon the river. I wasn't sure of its name, but from the look of its shores, I knew the ice would be stable. It would hide our tracks much more efficiently. It was flowing south, as well, in the general direction of our Gundams.

Duo moved to it without objection. He was so distant... I didn't know why.

_ Cold is the color of crystal the snow light that falls from the heavenly skies  
Catch me and let me dive under for I want to swim, in the pools of your eyes... _

I take that back. I'm the distant one. I haven't said more than three words to him in three months. Why is that? Other than the fact that I'm the least eloquent person on the face of the Earth, I'm also... apprehensive... of what I might tell him.

I want to speak to him... so badly... he deserves it. His crystal eyes and his perfect smile deserve some word of encouragement kindness love--

_ Cool... I wanna be with you baby, oh ho slip me inside of your heart. _

My steps slowed. That word had come unbidden. It was unwanted in my vernacular. Wasn't it?

_ Cool... Don't I belong to you baby, don't you know that nothing can tear us apart? _

I don't know.

Cool... Come on now, come on now, come on now, tellin' you that I loved you right from the start...  
Cooooool... The more I want you the less I get,  
Ain't that just the way things are? Oooo...

Winter has frozen us let love take hold of us

It hurts.

_ Cold, Cold, Cold...  
Now we are, shivering, blue ice is glittering _

Please, Duo...

_ Cold, Cold, Cold... _

I heard the ice crack minutely, and I stopped walking. My breath came in slow, white puffs of smoke. I willed them to remain slow...

"Duo," I called quickly, tearing my gaze from the ice. It was black underneath. The water was deep, deep cold and churning. He turned quickly and halted upon seeing me motionless.

"Yeah? Your toes get frozen off?" He joked. I could see his smile, even so far ahead. He was closer to the shore than I was-- maybe he could make it-- There were faint, crystal tearing sounds beneath me. The water boiled with ice.

"Hn," I offered easily. "We've covered our trail enough; we can get back on shore, make camp."

Duo nodded and spun around a little.

"Cool, you make dinner though 'cause I lost my rations when we ran--"

_ Cold is the color of crystal the snow light that falls, from the heavenly skies  
Catch me and let me dive under for I want to swim, in the pools of your eyes...  
Don't you know it's cool... cold, cold... _

I tried to make it to the shore. I did... But my footing wasn't good.

The crack was terrifying. I was afraid. It had been a long time since I was afraid. Duo.

_ Cold, Cold, Cold..._

I don't know whether or not if my body froze, or burned as I entered the water. Piercing needles of numbing pain swallowed me in a single gulp. One swift movement, like death. My Death. Duo.

My killer instincts were fond of conservation-- of myself of course. My mind had all ready decided that I would not survive the river's whirling current, but my body fought.

A wedge of rock-ice slammed into me; my mind decided I was either very deep, or near enough to the surface to mock me. My body decided differently: clothes saturated. Remove.

My pack, heavy down coat and shirt left me, followed closely by my several layers of leggings and shorts. I was bare, prenatal in the womb of death, and I was freezing.

Like one possessed I swam upward, where gray bubbles followed and led me. Stiff fingers smashed into an impenetrable barrier. It was even colder than the water, if at all possible. My cold defeat.

_ Cold, Cold, Cold... _

I had fallen in, so that meant the hole that had brought me here had to be somewhere-- unless I'd drifted too far. I could just barely see through the translucent solidity above me-- daylight, the air my lungs so ached for-- was beyond it. Duo, too.

The boy really was my angel. There he was, wide blue-violet eyes watching me.

No, he wasn't an angel, and I suppose I wasn't dead. He was pounding on the ice, hacking away at it ineffectively.

_HEERO!_ I saw him scream. The ice was too blurry... I wanted to see his beautiful face one more time...

My limp palm pressed to the oppressively thick sky. Duo mirrored me over head. He wasn't my reflection, but I wished he could be. I could be up there with him, holding him close to push the cold away. What if the ice cracked again--

GO! I mouthed, not caring as water rushed past my teeth, sending another rush of electric pain through my overloaded nerves.

He must have understood me. A blur of brown shook violently, negatively. He had to! I closed my eyes. If I drifted away, he would have to leave me, he would have to be safe...

I was angry with myself. You're supposed to die in battle, the overpowering soldier objected. I was. But Duo.

He was my friend. The sole thing I looked forward to every morning. My breath when I was drowning. The sky I wanted so much to reach. He was enough, for me to end now...

A small vibration from the ice had me peering again into his softened visage.

_Please..._ His lips wrote. _Don't die. Heero!_ He pounded harder.

Eddies swept at my legs. I slid further down stream and he scrambled after me. I don't think his hand ever left the ice over mine.

I love you, my lips formed. Had he seen it--? That was all then. Maybe my confession of undying love would send him reeling back onto the shore, away from the clutches of his true antithesis; away from death.

He was still pounding?! The boy was dense, but the ice might not be--

Go! Go now please! I hit the ice right back, angrily, giving into the raw energy adrenaline had provided. DUO!!

The ice cracked again. Barely, just a few spider web lines above my fist. I blinked sluggishly. I hit it again. Even in my weakened state the ice was crumbling. Duo was speaking again and fisting the ice.

Move back, I ordered voicelessly. My chest ached for air and fought against the water I'd offered it.

Slow motion was the only way to describe the dash for freedom that ensued. My knuckles cracked and bled, several fingers broke. The ice did too.

_ Oooo... oooo... yeah... _

I won't die today, then. Erupting like a seal from the surf I grappled onto the ice surface. Warm, pulling hands had me beached in seconds, and he was hugging me. Duo was hugging me, holding me...

I began to shiver.

Was it from the cold... or his arms... or maybe both...

"You're blue," he whispered into my cold neck. I wanted to nod, but knew I couldn't.

He was so much stronger than I had assumed, because he picked my rigid body up and carried me. I was... so cold... Duo...

There were sounds beyond my memory of rushing water. The sound of an engine, and relieved voices. So...

Consciousness gradually returned. My body was behaving very abnormally-- shaking, probably due to hypothermia. The whole world was upside down and backwards because I was being held, hugged, pulled close to precious heat.

The gentle hummmmmm of a motor filtered through the thick haze of fever. Soft, breathy conversation filled the vehicle.

"... So glad you found us Quatre, Trowa, I figured I'd have to jump in after him and, I do not swim well, but what would the world be coming to if Shinigami weren't the hero of the day?!"

"Duo," Quatre sighed with infinite patience. "Do Heero a favor, and talk to _him_, maybe he'll wake up."

Duo sniffed in indignation.

"Fine. Heero will be glad NOT to talk to me. He'll probably be more articulate half dead, huh Heero?"

I opened my eyes to glare at him. Fool. The look on his face was priceless, and he began stuttering.

"Hee Hee Hee Heeeeeroooooo you're awaaaaaaake-- Quaaaaaatre!" He seemed to be panicking (whatever for?), but I closed my eyes again, and clutched the blanket around me. His arms tightened...

Cold, Cold, Cold. Warm.

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**Disclaimers**: Song is not mine, GW is not mine, the characters are not mine, I like the song, I like the anime, isn't that enough?!? ; 


End file.
